Sagdagjan Tarbafdib is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, thoughtless otter.

Sagdagjan Tarbafdib created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagdagjan Tarbafdib, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sagdagjan Tarbafdib, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sagdagjan Tarbafdib's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Sagdagjan Tarbafdib's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Sagdagjan Tarbafdib in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. You must never eat onions.

5. Never talk about fire.