Somzimcut Sitpancuntail is a god.

He takes the form of a large, charitable dove.

Somzimcut Sitpancuntail created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Somzimcut Sitpancuntail, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Somzimcut Sitpancuntail, he will cry a lot.

Somzimcut Sitpancuntail's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Somzimcut Sitpancuntail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Somzimcut Sitpancuntail loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not commit murder.