Woncumruttnabmilquarttiglid is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, thoughtless dugong.

Woncumruttnabmilquarttiglid created Asia nine million years ago.

If you believe in Woncumruttnabmilquarttiglid, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Woncumruttnabmilquarttiglid, she will turn you into a worm.

Woncumruttnabmilquarttiglid's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Woncumruttnabmilquarttiglid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help geese in need.

2. Run away from gray sharks, for they are unholy.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near doves while wearing green corsets and balancing seven carbon spheres on your face.

5. Do not sing in public.