Bapladnab is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, selfish lobster.

Bapladnab created an atom five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapladnab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bapladnab, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bapladnab's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bapladnab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not kill tortoises.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism.

5. Never hurt moths.