Arfdogboss is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, prudent octopus.

Arfdogboss created the cosmos seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfdogboss, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Arfdogboss, it will have a low opinion of you.

Arfdogboss' most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Arfdogboss' Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never hurt great tits.

4. Never feed beans to birds while wearing hats.

5. Always look after injured monkeys.