Riltailcip is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, compassionate toad.

Riltailcip created an up quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Riltailcip, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Riltailcip, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Riltailcip's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Riltailcip's Holy Commandments

1. Riltailcip loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

2. Hide if four monkeys approach from the west.

3. Do not hurt doves.

4. Always help sick eagles.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.