Gilquagjan is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, witty jackal.

Gilquagjan created carbon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilquagjan, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gilquagjan, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gilquagjan's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Gilquagjan's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Gilquagjan.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Gilquagjan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never bounce in holy places.