Hinparkxin is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, idiotic wren.

Hinparkxin created the Cigar Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hinparkxin, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hinparkxin, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Hinparkxin's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Hinparkxin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never write about optics.