Nartompog is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, boastful monkey.

Nartompog created a quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartompog, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nartompog, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Nartompog's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Nartompog's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight snails approach from the west.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Erect four silicon sculptures of Nartompog on top of important buildings.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not wear gray clothing.