Cintikbim is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, caring cat.

Cintikbim created time and space nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cintikbim, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cintikbim, she will turn you into a dog.

Cintikbim's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Cintikbim's Holy Commandments

1. Cintikbim loves gulls, so they must be respected.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always look after injured ants.

4. Never eat tomatoes.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near great tits while wearing orange jumpers.