Badbestxin is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, confident porpoise.

Badbestxin created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Badbestxin, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Badbestxin, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Badbestxin's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Badbestxin's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Badbestxin's priests.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near gulls while wearing magenta hats and balancing five silicon spheres on your chest.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never eat bark.