Pitwipsit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, competent duck.

Pitwipsit created an electron two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitwipsit, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pitwipsit, it will curse you with boils.

Pitwipsit's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Pitwipsit's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Retreat if four ants approach from the west.

3. Never wear tights.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about amino acids.