Dotcisskom is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, blissful weasel.

Dotcisskom created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Dotcisskom, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dotcisskom, she will send you a sign.

Dotcisskom's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Dotcisskom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near goats while wearing pink hats.

2. Do not eat grapes.

3. Dotcisskom loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think ill of sick pigs.

5. Always look after injured gulls.