Hambellmum is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witless bee.

Hambellmum created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hambellmum, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hambellmum, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hambellmum's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Hambellmum's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

2. Worship no other gods but Hambellmum.

3. Never write about solid mechanics.

4. Run away from white tortoises, for they are unholy.

5. Never laugh in the presence of manatees.