Gadvinvog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, vain dog.

Gadvinvog created life nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gadvinvog, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gadvinvog, she will not invite you to parties.

Gadvinvog's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Gadvinvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention manatees.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.