Zedmutbop is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, charitable crab.

Zedmutbop created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedmutbop, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zedmutbop, it will turn you into a goat.

Zedmutbop's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Zedmutbop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always obey Zedmutbop's priests.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never write about photosynthesis.