Barnzenrow is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, calm rat.

Barnzenrow created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Barnzenrow, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Barnzenrow, she will refuse to believe in you.

Barnzenrow's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Barnzenrow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never think ill of sick sheep.

3. Never feed bananas to seals while wearing indigo kilts.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.