Tikbadvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, duplicitous rat.

Tikbadvonk created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tikbadvonk, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tikbadvonk, it will cry a lot.

Tikbadvonk's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Tikbadvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never eat bananas.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.