Matgepven is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, emotional raven.

Matgepven created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matgepven, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Matgepven, it will throw large rocks at you.

Matgepven's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Matgepven's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

2. Never feed carrots to cats while wearing pink kilts.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never sprint in the presence of aardvarks.

5. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.