Tarpsidbit is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic turtle.

Tarpsidbit created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpsidbit, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tarpsidbit, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tarpsidbit's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Tarpsidbit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near capybaras while wearing turquoise kilts and balancing eight nickel spheres on your arms.

5. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.