Fossdogbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, contented crane.

Fossdogbeg created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fossdogbeg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fossdogbeg, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fossdogbeg's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Fossdogbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Never feed figs to voles while wearing fawn tights.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Never eat coconuts.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.