Spagganhud is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, uncaring dolphin.

Spagganhud created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagganhud, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Spagganhud, it will send minions to preach to you.

Spagganhud's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Spagganhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to snails while wearing mauve shorts.

2. Never mention monkeys.

3. Retreat if seven capybaras approach from the west.

4. Never eat cucumbers.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Spagganhud.