Pibbugpadhomcetkapvid Futtarpjig is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, merciless giraffe.

Pibbugpadhomcetkapvid Futtarpjig created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pibbugpadhomcetkapvid Futtarpjig, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pibbugpadhomcetkapvid Futtarpjig, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Pibbugpadhomcetkapvid Futtarpjig's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Pibbugpadhomcetkapvid Futtarpjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near snakes while wearing orange scarves and balancing three copper spheres on your legs.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never feed lots of limes to pigs while wearing magenta hats.