Tiffitfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, happy naga.

Tiffitfarn created a down quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiffitfarn, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tiffitfarn, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tiffitfarn's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Tiffitfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. You must love Tiffitfarn.