Habtondag is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, awe-inspiring human.

Habtondag created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Habtondag, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Habtondag, it will turn you into a goat.

Habtondag's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Habtondag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help horses in need.

2. Hide if five aardvarks approach from the west.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Habtondag loves cats, so they must be respected.