Quagdothab is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, loving guinea pig.

Quagdothab created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagdothab, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quagdothab, it will try to impress you with trees.

Quagdothab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Quagdothab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention gulls.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Never paint your legs black.

5. Never talk about fire.