Dosspagbentam is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, bad-tempered lion.

Dosspagbentam created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dosspagbentam, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dosspagbentam, it will have a low opinion of you.

Dosspagbentam's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Dosspagbentam's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near tapirs while wearing violet tights and balancing four nickel spheres on your feet.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dosspagbentam.

5. Never play with disobedient children.