Mobtipkem is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unselfish hamster.

Mobtipkem created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobtipkem, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Mobtipkem, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Mobtipkem's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Mobtipkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Mobtipkem in the centre of the settlement.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Mobtipkem loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.