Mittigtaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, stupid pigeon.

Mittigtaf created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Mittigtaf, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Mittigtaf, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Mittigtaf's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Mittigtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Do not take Mittigtaf's name in vain.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never look at stars.