Largtenjam Hogdubhan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciful gerbil.

Largtenjam Hogdubhan created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largtenjam Hogdubhan, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Largtenjam Hogdubhan, he will send minions to preach to you.

Largtenjam Hogdubhan's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Largtenjam Hogdubhan's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never feed limes to whales while wearing magenta corsets.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.