Jabrawyogdad is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, compassionate human.

Jabrawyogdad created a bottom quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabrawyogdad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jabrawyogdad, he will turn you into a worm.

Jabrawyogdad's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Jabrawyogdad's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Jabrawyogdad.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Jabrawyogdad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.