Methankommatcemwik is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unselfish skunk.

Methankommatcemwik created snails five million years ago.

If you believe in Methankommatcemwik, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Methankommatcemwik, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Methankommatcemwik's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Methankommatcemwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Never paint your head orange.

5. Do not hurt mice.