Targpas Tonkcum is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unthinking jackal.

Targpas Tonkcum created a bottom quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Targpas Tonkcum, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Targpas Tonkcum, he will turn you into a slug.

Targpas Tonkcum's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Targpas Tonkcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never mention manatees.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near mice while wearing yellow shirts.