Gatgundid Dankonbitxuck is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, narcissistic snake.

Gatgundid Dankonbitxuck created a charm quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatgundid Dankonbitxuck, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gatgundid Dankonbitxuck, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gatgundid Dankonbitxuck's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gatgundid Dankonbitxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about manatees.

2. Worship no other gods but Gatgundid Dankonbitxuck.

3. Do not eat coconuts.

4. You must never eat grapes.

5. Do not covet oxen.