Yogtanstan Bigquartfum is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, astonishing jellyfish.

Yogtanstan Bigquartfum created parasitic wasps six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yogtanstan Bigquartfum, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yogtanstan Bigquartfum, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Yogtanstan Bigquartfum's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Yogtanstan Bigquartfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into fawn rooms.

2. Never hurt aardvarks.

3. Never leap in the presence of badgers.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.