Jindothub Tofdonstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, omnipotent raccoon.

Jindothub Tofdonstrag created Asia two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jindothub Tofdonstrag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jindothub Tofdonstrag, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Jindothub Tofdonstrag's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Jindothub Tofdonstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics.

5. Always pray immersed in water.