Hathudfunget is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-confident giraffe.

Hathudfunget created the solar system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hathudfunget, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hathudfunget, he will turn you into a plant.

Hathudfunget's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Hathudfunget's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about dark matter near badgers while wearing violet shoes and balancing four lead spheres on your legs.

3. Do not keep nine monkeys in a large pit.

4. Never feed garlic to cats while wearing kilts.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Hathudfunget.