Yimontvab is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, egotistical raven.

Yimontvab created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yimontvab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yimontvab, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yimontvab's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Yimontvab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yimontvab.

2. Yimontvab loves ants, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not keep five tapirs in a large pit.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.