Doglinbonkraw is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, dishonourable spider.

Doglinbonkraw created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Doglinbonkraw, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Doglinbonkraw, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Doglinbonkraw's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Doglinbonkraw's Holy Commandments

1. Always help otters.

2. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

3. Do not wear brown clothing.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.