Japgumjon is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, intelligent hydra.

Japgumjon created a Higgs boson two billion years ago.

If you believe in Japgumjon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Japgumjon, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Japgumjon's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Japgumjon's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near birds while wearing orange coats and balancing six silver spheres on your head.

3. Never eat aubergines.

4. Never go into black rooms.

5. Never wear fawn skirts.