Quagdonnat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, witless hummingbird.

Quagdonnat created the Sol system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quagdonnat, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quagdonnat, she will turn you into a worm.

Quagdonnat's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Quagdonnat's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry gulls.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never feed turnips to dolphins while wearing mauve dresses.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Quagdonnat on top of all buildings.

5. Never pour water over plants.