Hakwodsog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, deceitful gnu.

Hakwodsog created oxygen two years ago.

If you believe in Hakwodsog, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hakwodsog, he will send minions to preach to you.

Hakwodsog's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Hakwodsog's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.