Vontafomt is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, idiotic dryad.

Vontafomt created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vontafomt, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Vontafomt, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Vontafomt's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Vontafomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Vontafomt on top of all buildings.

3. Always help foxes in need.

4. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not make images of living things.