Bumdinganzod Citfarnhab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, narcissistic aardvark.

Bumdinganzod Citfarnhab created energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumdinganzod Citfarnhab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bumdinganzod Citfarnhab, he will boil you in a big pot.

Bumdinganzod Citfarnhab's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bumdinganzod Citfarnhab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of carrots to foxes while wearing gray hats.

2. Run away if five bats approach from the north.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Bumdinganzod Citfarnhab on top of all buildings.

4. Feed all hungry snails.

5. Never think about quantum gravity.