Gunwiglag is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, ruthless goat.

Gunwiglag created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunwiglag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gunwiglag, it will ignore you.

Gunwiglag's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gunwiglag's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Gunwiglag.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never sprint in the presence of dolphins.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. You must pray to Gunwiglag nine times a day.