Dapton is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, tranquil swallow.

Dapton created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapton, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dapton, it will boil you in a big pot.

Dapton's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Dapton's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near hamsters.

2. Always look after injured sharks.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Dapton in the centre of the settlement.