Singemjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humorless slug.

Singemjarn created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Singemjarn, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Singemjarn, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Singemjarn's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Singemjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

3. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Singemjarn loves horses, so they must be respected.

5. Retreat if nine capybaras approach from the west.