Flapcussomt is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, irritating dove.

Flapcussomt created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapcussomt, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flapcussomt, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Flapcussomt's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Flapcussomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics.

2. Always obey Flapcussomt's priests.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Flapcussomt in the centre of the settlement.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.