Gudtigjen is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, bad-tempered goblin.

Gudtigjen created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Gudtigjen, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gudtigjen, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Gudtigjen's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Gudtigjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snails.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Never feed limes to badgers while wearing hats.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.