Tardityok is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, wise eagle.

Tardityok created a charm quark four years ago.

If you believe in Tardityok, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tardityok, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Tardityok's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Tardityok's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine whales approach from the north.

2. Do not eat apples.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

5. Never feed coconuts to mites while wearing hats.