Appxen is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omnipotent raccoon.

Appxen created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Appxen, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Appxen, he will curse you with boils.

Appxen's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Appxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. You must never eat oranges.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Appxen.

4. Never think about optics near moths while wearing magenta shoes and balancing eight iron spheres on your head.

5. Never think about spacetime near voles while wearing yellow shirts and balancing five gold spheres on your back.