Laghomyamdot Jinafzedvonk Sandrakven is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, fussy centaur.

Laghomyamdot Jinafzedvonk Sandrakven created dark matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Laghomyamdot Jinafzedvonk Sandrakven, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Laghomyamdot Jinafzedvonk Sandrakven, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Laghomyamdot Jinafzedvonk Sandrakven's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Laghomyamdot Jinafzedvonk Sandrakven's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about archaea.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about photosynthesis.

5. Never look at asteroids.